Inarticulate (FicEx)

It is a very windy day, when Eun Byul arrives at Incheon International Airport.  It is autumn and she appreciates how bright the mood is.  She is glad; at last she is here, back in her hometown.  She sits there, waiting for somebody to pick her.  Her mother told her back there, at Heathrow Airport, that she already made a call, for someone to pick her.  Thus, she waits there patiently, for any sign of her special someone.  Being a very reserved girl, she sits there, and waits patiently, without making any fuss.

                Ahn Eun Byul, holds the nationality of Korean and is proud with it.  However, when she was only eight, her father got an offer to work as Korean Ambassador in Britain.  She was proud to have stepped onto the earth of the Great Britain, and learnt a lot about the culture.  Sixteen years in Britain, she made a lot of friends, more than she had in Korea.  When she was 18, she made it to a university in United States and gain more friends there.  But, it was indeed undeniable, that she really missed her country and to speak with her own mother tongue.

                Fortunately, her parents did say something miracle a few months ago.  The whole family was coming back to Korea.  Her father is going to continue his job as ambassador though, but to help at the British Embassy in Korea.  She almost jumped out of joy, but she kept the contentment in her heart.

                Now, she is here, but without her parents.  They’ll be here in a year.  She is back to Korea earlier due to her parents’ encouragement.  They want her to adapt first.  Thinking that is a good idea, she is here now, being a few months earlier than her parents.  She is very happy to continue her final year in Engineering at Seoul University.  After years she studied at Britain and then America, at last she get the chance to experience learning in her own country.

                “Hey, sweetheart!” a voice calls.  Conscious that the call is for her, she turns to the direction of the voice.  Her heart skips out of joy to see him.  Ok Taecyon.  The person that Eun Byul is missing so much.  They studied together at United States back then, before Taecyon went to Korea a year ago to continue his Business Study here, at Dankook University.  They are having a special relationship; boyfriend and girlfriend, or easily described as couple.  It has been a year since their last meeting and date, and now they both of them are back together.  She really wants to thank her mother for calling this person to pick her up.

                “Taecyon!” exclaims Byul while getting up from her chair.  Taecyon walks closer.  Close enough, Byul and Taecyon stare into each others’ eyes, expressing how much they are missing each other.  Taecyon then gives Byul a kiss on her forehead and hugs her.  Byul hugs back, tightly, showing how he misses him.

                “How are you dear?” Taecyon asks her, after they pull away from each other.

                “Great!” she exclaims.  Taecyon laughs to her cuteness and pinches her cheek.

                “Let’s go!” he says while leading her to his car.

                He brings her to a house, a very large house.  It is a three-storey bungalow, with many cars parked outside the house.  Just by the first look, Byul could tell that the house is belonged to someone rich.

                “Hey!  Where are we?” asks Byul.

                “My house,” he says.  Byul’s jaw almost drops upon hearing Taecyon’s answer.

                “Oh Gosh!  You’re sure a son of a great entrepreneur!” exclaims her excitedly.

                “Well…I’m going to inherit all my father’s fortune soon,” Taecyon says while looking at Byul.  He smirks.  Byul rolls her eyes knowing that her boyfriend is trying to seduce her with his wealth.

                “Properties not going to work on me, Taecyon,” she says politely and smiles sweetly.  Taecyon sighs.

                “Whatever…but…you know that you are going to live here until your parents come right?” Taecyon asks her.  Again, Eun Byul is surprised.

                “What?!  I don’t know,” she says, surprised.  Taecyon shrugs as he smiles as a sign that she will live at that house for a year with him.  She doesn’t know that her parents want her to live with Taecyon.  But, sure the thing is going to be like that.  Their parents are friends.  The only thing different is Taecyon’s family live in United States and hers is living in Great Britain.  When she pursued her study in America, it is Taecyon’s family who helped her a lot, and they have been couple since then.  Even their parents are expecting marriage from them.

“Your room is right beside mine.  If you need anything just order the maid to do it,” Taecyon says.  She is about to say something when Taecyon’s phone rings, disturbing their conversation.

                Eun Byul doesn’t mean to eavesdropping, but she can hear clearly what Taecyon says.  Without knowing who makes the call, Byul could guess that the caller is a girl.  She sighs.  Taecyon is a player, she knows it.  It has been his habit to hang out with different girls every day.  She knows it since they first started their relationship at America.  She doesn’t want to blame the culture there.  She knows that it is Taecyon’s fault, he should change.  But, he chooses to go on with his player essence.

Byul can’t do anything.  She feels hurt, but she can’t do anything as his girlfriend.  She once reprimanded him for his wrongdoing, on playing with a lot of girls’ heart, but he chose to ignore.  She stupidly let him go, keeps her hurt feeling to herself.  But deep down her heart, she really loves him.  Not only her, her parents also like Taecyon.  And as for her, she is feeling so grateful that Taecyon chooses her as his girlfriend, although he is dating other girls out there.  She knows she might sound stupid, but she really loves him.  She doesn’t want to ask for a break up.

“I need to go,” Taecyon says once he finishes his phone’s conversation.

“Another girl?” Byul asks.  Tears are threatening to fall, but Byul tries to hold it in.  All this while, she succeeded in holding in her tears but not now.  After a year being apart, Byul is expecting to see the new Taecyon, but he doesn’t change.  Taecyon says nothing except to stare in her teary eyes.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” he kisses her on her cheek.  Byul sends him to the door only with her eyes.  After he is gone, Byul sighs.  She looks down on the floor.

“I thought you’ve changed, Taecyon.  Why not?” she whispers as tears rolling down her fair, smooth skin.

The next day, she is going to university, her first day in university.  She is in her final year here.  She is going to work very hard to get her degree in Engineering.  She walks to her class as she is lead by a person who is more familiar with the university.  She enters the huge lecture hall to find so many people in it, suitable to make friends.

Being an amiable person, she makes friends in an unbelievable very short time.  She has a bunch of friends in only 10 minutes after she enters the class.  But, the best person is Victoria.  She is a very kind girl, older than her though, but very intelligent, demonstrating her leadership skills in the course.  She is reliable and very understanding.

“So, you’re Korean?” she asks.

“I am,” she replies with a very friendly tone, demolishing awkwardness and barrier between them.  While they are talking, more students come and fill up the seats in the lecture hall.

“But all this while you’re studying Engineering in America?” asks her.

“Yeah,” Byul says cheerfully as she nods.  She chuckles.

“You are going to give a very hard time to Nichkun for this semester and the final,” she says, while laughing.  Byul frowns, her brows knit.  She couldn’t understand her, but the name, Nichkun sounds very familiar.  She heard the name in her life before, but she fails to recall.

“Hard time?  Why?  By the way, who’s Nichkun?”

“The ace in Engineering here.  Always a top student, always the first in this batch,” she says and then looks at the door of the lecture hall.  She continues then, “There he is, the ace!” she says while pointing towards the door.  Eun Byul turns her head towards the door, noticing a guy who just steps in.  The face looks familiar, and Eun Byul quickly registers him.

“I know this guy!” Eun Byul exclaims.  Victoria looks shocked, nevertheless, not losing her words.

“You know him?  How?” the older girl asks.

“My neighbour when I was here until I was eight.  He doesn’t change that much,” she says while shrugging.

“This is going to be fun,” Victoria says.  She waves towards Nichkun and speaks, “Hey, Khun!  Over here!  We have a new student!” she says cheerfully and Nichkun smiles at her.  He looks uninterested though he still responds by bowing, not more than that.  He sits down with a bunch of friends then.  Unsatisfied, Victoria shouts something that can attract his attention.

“This girl will push you down to second place!  You won’t make it this semester until the final!” she shouts.  Upon hearing the words, Byul laughs although very politely, while Nichkun starts to look at them furiously.  It is true though, the words catch his attention.  He stands up and walks towards both of them.  Judging from his behaviour, Byul could say that this guy doesn’t change at all, as competitive as ever.

“See…he cannot stand when I tell him somebody is going to beat him in academic,” Victoria whispers right before he stands in front of them, adding to Byul’s laughter.

“What are you saying?  This girl is going to beat me in my excellence?” asks Nichkun politely, but Byul could sense the poison in his words, which makes her forcing herself to resist her laughter.  Nichkun doesn’t change.

“Yeah!  She studied engineering for three years in Massachusetts Institute of Technology.  That is the first world university for Engineering.  Can you beat her?” asks Victoria playfully.  Nichkun’s face changes immediately.

“Wow!  That is good, no, I mean, GREAT!” he exclaims.  Face from irritated turns very bright, and it shines more than the Sun itself.  Byul laughs, which makes Khun turns confused.

“Khun!  You don’t change at all!  Always the Khun I know!” she says while laughing.  Her words have been contaminated with her own laughter, not including Victoria’s cheerful one.  Khun looks more confused than before, but otherwise, he slowly registers the person that always laughs at every change in expression in his face.  It has always been his long lost neighbour, Ahn Eun Byul.

“Eun Byul?!  Is it you?!  Oh my God!  Byul, tell me it is you!” Nichkun says and his expression turns bright again.  Eun Byul laughs and laughs again, while nodding furiously, indicating that she is the Byul that Nichkun is thinking.  Khun smacks his head with his hand.

“Yo!  What’s up?!  It has been a very long time huh?!” Nichkun asks when Byul finally settles down, but not Victoria though.  She is still laughing although her face is already red, and her cheeks are already wet from her tears.

“Yeah...and I never expect you to remember me,” she says politely.

“Oh, come on...how can I forget!  You’re the only girl...well, I mean, the girl that were close to me...Oh, actually the only girl I close with.  Since you were gone, I never really have close friendship with girls,” he says.  The words amused Byul, but she hides her reaction before it comes out physically.

“Oh...what about me, then?” asks Victoria, still with slight hint of laughter.

“You?  You make me your punching bag, how can I ever get close to you?” asks Nichkun jokingly.  Victoria laughs frantically this time, making both of them laugh at her, not with her.  Since then, the three of them becomes very close, and slowly Khun and Byul develop a feeling that only confusing them, and gradually causing pain in their own hearts.

It has been only a week Eun Byul in Seoul, but she is already feeling irritated to the maximum.  It is not because of the place, not at all, but she is pissed off living with Taecyon.  She loves him, really loves him, but the fact that he brought different girls home everyday breaks her heart.  She feels more broken-hearted when he was home drunk and helped by stupid, sexy, shameless girl to his room.  When Byul wanted to help, the girl will just say “Who are you?” and that will just tear her up.  For God sake, she is Taecyon’s girlfriend.

“Khun...where are you staying?  With who?” she asks Khun after seven disastrous day at Taec’s house.

“I’m staying alone at an apartment.  Why?” Khun answers her.

“Well...I asked Victoria for a place to stay but she couldn’t help, because she lives with her family and she suggested you,” Byul says, hoping that Khun would understand.  If not, she’ll have to find another house by herself, because she deadly wants to move out from Taec’s no matter what.

“Oh well...I thought you live with...well...your boyfriend,” says Nichkun.  When he knew that Byul is someone’s, his heart shatters to pieces.  The girl has been the only girl he attracted to, and Khun just wants to be more than a friend.  Nonetheless, his cowardness in confessing to her makes the feeling just left unanswered.

“I want to move out.  Deadly,” Byul answers shortly and coldly.  Khun looks at her, and quickly notices that there is something bothering her mind right now.  Being the most understanding since they are young, Khun can predict something is going on in her relationship with her boyfriend.

“Well...I have one empty room...you can move in anytime you want,” without further questioning her problem, Khun let her stay.  He could see that her eyes are watery and glassy.  He doesn’t want to see her in a very deep sorrow.

Eun Byul moves into Khun’s apartment that day, after a few bad arguments with Taecyon.  Taecyon doesn’t allow it, but Eun Byul insists.  She cannot stand seeing him with another woman, leaving her heart broken into pieces.

“Leave if you want!  I won’t be bothered by you anymore!  I can bring as many girls as I want to my house without you nagging into my ears!” that are the last words from Taecyon before she leaves the house.  She feels sad though, and she hopes their relationship doesn’t end.  She is still Taecyon’s girlfriend and stupidly hoping that he would change one day.

However with Khun, she feels very comfortable.  She tells the story to him, she reveals everything.  Khun listens to her story, hoping to ease the pain in her heart, although his own is stabbed many times upon hearing the stories of their relationship.  Nichkun wants to see her happy, that’s all, although he knows that Taecyon owns her heart.

Slowly, Byul registers the change of feeling in her heart.  Everytime Nichkun looks into her eyes, there will be electric shock sent down through her spine.  She can’t help but blush to all his compliments.  And sometimes she even cannot take her eyes off him.  She finds out very soon that she wants them to be more than a friend, but she is still confused.  The feeling is inarticulate, unclear, between both of them.

But, Nichkun is feeling very grateful.  He is able to get closer to her.  He is glad that she chooses him as her best mate, to listen to all her problems and Nichkun is glad that he is the one that makes her happy.  Day by day, week by week, they become closer.  After more than a month living together, they can’t be torn apart.  Whenever there is Byul, there will be Khun and vice versa.

However, Khun feels that it is only him that wants to be more than friends.  He wants to be more than friends, seriously, but afraid Byul chooses to stay loyal to her boyfriend.  Khun doesn’t know how to react to this, but he is sure about one thing, Taecyon is the luckiest man in the world to get such a girl like Eun Byul.  Nichkun decides not to give up.  After all this while he is gaining some courage, now, he is ready for a confession.

“Can I meet you at -----”

“Sure!” that is what Eun byul answers to his question.  She sounds cheerful, not being forced.  Nichkun jumps out of joy.  He is more than happy now, but also is nervous, very nervous.

It is winter, and yet, Nichkun is waiting at the park as promised.  The weather is killing, it is freezing and piercing until his bones, but he doesn’t care.  All he wants to do is to confess and to make the girl happy.  That’s all.  He waits and waits, but little did he know the other side is forgetting their promise to meet.

Right after Byul speaks to Nichkun through her phone, it is ringing again, indicating a call is coming in.  She looks at the screen and her eyes become really big.  It is Taecyon.  She doesn’t feel like answering, but otherwise, she needs to solve the matter between them.  She picks up his call.

“Hello.”

“Byul...”

“...”

“Can we meet?” Taec’s question almost makes Byul feels a little weird.  Somehow, she doesn’t feel happy with that, but she wants to end it.

“Sure...when?  Where?”

“Meet me at -----, now, can you?” Taecyon’s gentle tone makes Byul immediately agrees with the meeting, forgetting her conversation with Nichkun before.  She feels that it is the right time for her to discuss the thing.

“Sure, I’ll come,” she ends the conversation and quickly get ready to meet him.

She doesn’t know, in the freezing winter Nichkun is waiting for her.  Teeth chattering, body shivering, add on some painful sneezing, but he is very loyal.  He waits for her until she comes, which she never will.  He doesn’t know though, and continues to wait until it reaches the twilight.  He loses his strength after waiting for hours in snow; people who see might think he is maybe some sort of crazy person.  Still, he doesn’t mind, because all he thinks is to keep his promise to her.  When the sun fully hides itself, then it is the time Khun gives up.

With the least strength he has, he walks home, holding onto walls and poles on the street.  While walking, he wonders where she is.  He is worried though, she doesn’t return his calls.  Did something happen to her?  He thinks and thinks and he gets the answer once he reaches home.  She is waiting for him at his apartment, looks very worry and sad, but otherwise, nothing bad happens.  He sighs in relief.

“Khun, where were you going?  You know what, I met Taecyon just now and we already solve the thing between us...I think...” she says in hesitation.  Nichkun is shocked, now that he knows she went to meet his boyfriend, forgetting their promise to meet.

“Yeah!  That’s good!” Nichkun voices the painful words out of his painful throat.  He nearly passes out but keeps holding onto the wall.  The pain in his head continues to develop and he can’t help himself but to sneeze again.

“Khun, are you okay?  You look very sick,” she says while walking towards him.  Nichkun is feeling like cursing her, “Of course I’m sick waiting for you in the thick snow, idiot!” but that words don’t come out.

“I’m okay...Mind your own business, will you?” he says as he walks into his room and closes the door.  Khun immediately throws himself onto his bed, doesn’t even have the slightest amount of energy to get change.

Eun Byul notices the sudden changes in Khun.  Nichkun never has been that cold towards her.  But, somehow, he suddenly is being so cold towards her.  She knocks on the door, hoping that Nichkun will allow her to come in.

“Khun...can I come in?” she asks politely.  No answer.  She knocks again but there’s still no answer.  She starts to worry, Nichkun looks very sick just now.  She opens the door and finds Khun on his bed.  Looks like he is sleeping.

                She walks towards Nichkun’s bed.  Byul quickly notices that Khun is shivering under his thick jacket.  She notices his pale face too.  She is suspecting that Nichkun is sick.  She quickly sits beside him on the bed and puts the back of her palm on his forehead.  He is burning.  She quickly pulls the cover up to Nichkun’s shoulder, and goes to the kitchen to get some ice cubes.

                Eun Byul then gets back to the room to do the least she can do.  She wraps some ice cubes into a towel and puts it onto Khun’s boiling forehead.  She hopes her action won’t disturb Nichkun’s sleep, but it does.  Nichkun stirs weakly and opens his eyes.  He looks into Byul’s eyes, and Byul notices that he really wants to say something, but keeps it to his heart.

                “Khun...where have you been?” she asks.  Khun tries to get up, but being gently pushed down by Byul back onto his pillow.

                “Don’t get up.  You’re sick.  Just tell me where you have been,” she says, so gently that it gives a little strength to Khun to stay awake for a while.

                “You forget it, aren’t you?” Khun asks weakly.  At this point, his ego as a guy drops to the lowest level.  Tears are threatening to fall, but he tries to hold them in.  Looks like Byul is having a hard time to remember.

                “Forget what?” she asks.  Khun feels his head is aching more than he could handle.  Byul’s answer doesn’t help to ease the pain, but add more pain to it.  If he is standing right now, he bets he could have faint.  How a simple promise could be easily forgotten?

                “Byul...I’m tired.  Leave me alone, will you?” Khun says coldly avoiding her gaze.  She has no choice but to leave him.

                Only the next day she remembers that she had to meet Nichkun yesterday.  That guy waited for hours in the snow, and that is the reason he fell sick.  Byul feels guilty, but she did that because of him.  She forgot their meeting because she wants to start a new relationship with Nichkun.  She has to fix everything, it is her fault.  But, she couldn’t help herself.

                She enters the room to check on Nichkun.  He is lying on his bed, sleeping.  She checks on his temperature, and he is burning higher than yesterday.  She is worried, not really, but, extremely worried.  She feels guilty, but she knows all she did yesterday was because she loves him so much.  She loves Nichkun so much.  Byul changes the towel on his head, causing him to wake up.

                “Khun...” her words are interrupted by her phone.  It rings.  Byul looks at the screen.  It is Taecyon.  But, somehow the call fails to make her happy, because she is nervous to know Taec’s answer on her request yesterday.  She wants to know the answer though, but is more worried on Nichkun’s condition.

                “Byul...answer the phone...you won’t let him wait, right?” Khun says, again coldly.

                She picks up the phone and speaks to Taecyon.  After a few minutes, she ends the call.  She looks at Nichkun, happily with tears in her eyes.

                “Go and see him,” he says weakly.

                “I won’t.”

                “Just go.  Your eyes show it.   You’re madly in love.”

                “But...I want to take care of you,” Byul says.

                “Who is more important, me or him?” the question makes Byul’s heart almost comes off the original position.

                “I...” she stutters.  Khun’s hand moves weakly and gets hers.  He feebly grabs her hand.  Byul feels the heat, not only from Khun’s fever but also her own body’s heat.  It suddenly rises in temperature.

                “I know it’s him.  Go then,” Khun says.  Silence.  None of them speaks.  Byul is trying hard to hold her tears.

                “I’m sorry because of yesterday.  I know I forgot our meeting.  But, I have my own very important reason,” she says.

                “Yeah...important...to see Taecyon.”

                “You know what?  We broke up.  I asked for that,” she says.  Khun is surprised to hear that.  How come?  He feels shocked but at the same time, happy, relieve.

                “But, you said everything is solved?” Khun says in a very questioning tone.

                “Yeah...that is what I mean.  We solved everything...we broke up.  I requested for that,” says Byul.  Nichkun looks at her, couldn’t read her feeling.  His head is too painful to do so.  He doesn’t know whether she is happy or not with it, but he could sense a relief tone in her words.

                “Why?” Nichkun asks.

                “Khun...After a month...or maybe more living with you...I have this feeling...I’m madly in love with...” she says while looking at him.  Tears falls down, polluting her fair and smooth cheeks.  Nichkun wants to be the one that wipe the tears, but he feels too weak to even push himself into sitting position.  But, one thing he could feel, her love.  He somehow could read her mind on why she asked for a break up.  He somehow could read her next word.  He shushes her.

                “You love me...real or not real?” Nichkun asks, hoping to hear the answer he wants to hear.

                She closes her eyes and letting more beads of tears stroll down her cheek.  Then, she inhales, a very deep breath.

                “Real.  Madly,” that only answer makes Nichkun would jump out of joy if he is not sick right now.  He is only able to smiles widely to the answer.

                “You love me...real or not real?” asks Byul, using his words.

                “Real,” he answers with a very weak and hoarse voice.

                Byul lies beside him and holds his hand.  She pulls the cover up to his shivering body to warm him up.

                “Sleep...I’ll be with you.”