She pats his shoulder and gives him a look of strength and power. He smiles after her soothing smile. She squeezes his hand into her with lots of love, and tries to tell him that nothing terrible will happen through a non-verbal way. He is strong somehow, but still scared to death. According to Dr. Jonghyun, the first step of the operating procedure can bring instant death and if that happen, the operation will immediately stop.
Suddenly, the phone outside the operating theatre rings and that nearly gives cardiac arrest to Onew if Taeyon is not there. He looks at her while the nurse helps to pick up the phone. She speaks for a while before passing the phone to him. Onew receives it with a trembling hand. Taeyon holds his other hand, afraid that anything will happen to him if it is a bad news.
“Yes...” Onew speaks once the earpiece is attached to his ear. He can hear beep sound over there, in the operating theatre, which indicates life. But, he never wants to make an early assumption, as he knows he will be disappointed if things doesn’t work the way he wants.
“Mr. Onew?” Onew can hear Jessica’s voice, asking if he is on the line. He nods, but then he realises that it is a phone conversation. He should say it out loud.
“Yes...” again, only short word managed to get out from his mouth. He is unsure why, but he assumes that his tongue has become stifle to speak too many words.
“The first procedure is a success. Jonghyun is working on Minho now, continuing the procedure. Percentage of success increase to 50%,” Jessica tells him the good news. Onew can’t help himself, but to smile ear to ear. He can feel a single, hot, and fresh tear strolling down his cheeks. He wipes it.
“Thanks...” only that word can express how happy is, although not fully delighted. He passes the phone back to the nurse. The nurse smiles an assuring smile, tells him to have faith on the doctor. He nods.
“They make it, aren’t they?” Taeyon asks once he is back to his seat. Onew nods repeatedly, sharing the fortunate moment with her. She chuckles, looking how priceless Onew’s smile is this time, since it is a bit hard for him to do it lately.
They wait for another hour. The surgery takes too long and Onew can’t wait anymore. He loses his patience, but what can he do? Just wait there until it is done. Luckily, Taeyon is there. He swears he could kill himself waiting in nervousness and angst. He looks down on the floor, feeling bored somehow. His butt is already sore, for sitting too long. He sometimes really admires Taeyon for having such patience and waiting uncomplainingly for the surgery to be done.
He hears a click and he looks up. Somehow he couldn’t express how grateful he is for the surgery is done. However, his stomach is churning when he thinks back of one thing, is the surgery successful? Surely, is successful. If not, it won’t take this long right?
“Taeyon...” he whispers to her, hoping for some strength. His trembling hand reaches hers and they lock their fingers between each others. Onew gains some strength and she grasps his hand some more, this time assuring him that nothing bad will happen. Onew wants to believe that really bad, but he just needs the doctor.
The door is opened and two doctors come into his sight. He quickly notices the two young doctors, the specialist and his co-assistant. Jonghyun and Jessica, they are professional, however Onew jumps into conclusion that they look good together. Onew shakes his head, shooing away his ridiculous thought. The two look extremely tired and Onew could tell that they need to sit and rest. However, the two decide to move on with their responsibility.
“The surgery is a success, isn’t it?” Onew asks impatiently, causing Jonghyun to chuckles due to his clumsiness.
“Yes, it is a success. But, Onew...can I have a few words with you in my room?” Jonghyun asks. Jessica looks at Jonghyun, already knowing what he would say.
“Yes, sure,” Onew says. Jonghyun doesn’t sound like he wants to tell something terrible and that makes Onew happy more than ever. He knows that Minho is safe now, and he could tell the good news to his sister. Emma is already waked up a few hours before and Onew told her about the surgery. She is worried to death and really hopes to hear from him as soon as possible.
“Miss, you can follow if you want,” Jessica says to Taeyon sweetly. Jonghyun looks at her and smiles. He forgets that Taeyon is there. He nods, giving sign to her that she can follow. Jessica looks at Jonghyun. She is always envious of the patients and their relatives. Jonghyun always gives his best smile to them, but not to his mates. Jessica has feelings towards Jonghyun, but he doesn’t know. She is afraid to tell him her feeling because he looks like he won’t accept any relationship yet.
They walk together to Jonghyun’s room. They enter the room and take their seat. Jonghyun passes them some drinks and he takes a gulp himself, refreshing after a long-hour surgery. After everybody settle down, then only he begins his speech.
“Onew, the surgery is a success. Jessica and I have done our job in saving him. However, everything is depending on himself right now,” Jonghyun says, again, tries not to sound so bad. He is tired, and he is not ready for any sort of arguments or fights. But, he knows that Onew will think that this is the worst thing ever.
“I don’t understand,” Onew says in a suspicious way. He could smell a bad news here.
“Minho is still in comatose state. And for him to gain consciousness, it is all depend on him. He needs to stay strong to live. I give him 50% chances to live based on his current condition right now. And if he live, I’m afraid that he actually can be paralyzed,” Jonghyun speaks softly and tenderly, that anyone who hears that will surely feel safe and calm. But somehow, not for Onew. Once he hears that, he is trembling like a leaf, or worst than that.
Taeyon looks at his sweetheart, whose eyes start to fill with tears. She understands him more than anyone else does, and she is the most right person to be beside him in this torturing moment. Jonghyun is glad that she is there, or not he needs to attend the fainted Onew, which makes his day more tiring than ever. Taeyon pats his back, while he cries on her shoulder. Jessica in the other way feels truly jealous towards their relationship.
“How do we know that Minho will become paralyzed or not?” Taeyon speaks on Onew’s behalf.
“I cannot tell. We must wait until he gains consciousness,” Jonghyun replies shortly. Truly, he is hurt when he sees Onew is crying when he received the news. That reminds him of his past experience, the thing that inspires him a lot to help others, the thing that makes him really devoted in saving other’s life. He sighs.
Jessica knows that Jonghyun is tired, and she wishes she can be the one to refresh him. He looks at Jonghyun who just sighed. She knows what he thinks, because Jessica knows Jonghyun’s past through a friend who is also a physician like them, but works in different field. Jessica quickly ends the session and brings both of them out, leaving Jonghyun resting in his room.
“I’m sorry, but that is the only thing we can help,” Jessica says in her best way. She works the way Jonghyun works, tries not to makes others feel sad or losing hope.
“It’s okay. You have done your best. Thanks to you and Jonghyun, Minho is stable right now,” Taeyon says. Onew nods and bows to Jessica, express how he really appreciate their hard work.
“But, Emma won’t accept this...”Onew says sadly. And when he says she won’t accept it, he really means it. Emma won’t accept anything bad happen to Minho, she can even kill herself...
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Emma knows that, thanks to Onew for telling her the bad news. She feels dreadful, for Minho has to be in that situation because he saved her from the car. He is being hit because of her, and he is in coma and has high potential to become paralyzed. She feels guilty dominates herself. Guilty because she puts Minho, her own lover in such a harsh condition. She never wants him in that situation and yet he is.
However, what depressed her even more is that she cannot live without Minho by her side. Even if Minho survive, she cannot endure seeing Minho paralyzed, half or fully. She thinks a lot. Minho is everything to him. She knows at once what a person told her is true; Don’t let someone become your everything, because when they are gone you have nothing.
It is not that Minho is gone, but she feels that she does not suit Minho, who is able to sacrifice himself for someone else. Emma still remembers the worst moment in her life, where she can feel someone pushed her; avoiding her from being hit by a car. The moment she turned to look at the saviour, she heard a thud sound, and she saw Minho was severely hit. She couldn’t stand it, too appalled by what she saw, and finally everything was black for her.
She woke up in this room; found out that Onew was beside her. She asked him about Minho. There was a moment of hesitation, before Onew voiced out, telling her about Minho. She still have some faith, but then when everything is depends on Minho, and half the chance to stay alive and about being paralyzed, she starts to feel like her life is useless. Minho saves him from the car and yet she cannot do anything to save him. She is lying uselessly on her bed and crying like a baby.
She already visited Minho in the intensive care unit. She saw him, lying lifelessly on the bed, with tubes and wires on him, aiding him to stay alive. Emma was appalled at that time, and at once fell on her knees crying. Onew needed help from a nurse to bring her back to her room, and to cool her down. The reason is she was already like an insane at that particular time. She screamed and cried at Minho’s sight, because she felt totally useless. And yet, she is feeling useless and pathetic.
Onew is not with her this time, out with Taeyon to speak to Dr. Jessica about something, which she assumes, her condition. She likes it; this time being alone and everybody leaves her. She has time only for her. Time for her to act, although stupidly. She knows the best thing to do; even she doesn’t know how stupid she is for doing such thing. She walks to the bathroom and throws the bottle of hand sanitizer located there, on the sink to the mirror. The bottle is still full and heavy, sends the mirror shatters into pieces. Some of the pieces are large enough to help her in her attempt in committing suicide.
She picks up a piece and smoothly buries it in her wrist, and she quickly pulls it with great force, causing a deep cut. Insanely, she laughs after what she did. She hopes to die, because she doesn’t want to see if anything bad happen to Minho again. However, she doesn’t know that her deed only bring more conflict to more people.
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