Chapter 19: As The Sun Rises

Description: Sequel to The True Legend

Rating: PG-13

Characters: SHINee and fictionals

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in the fiction.  The story is only a narrative and does not involve any real life situation.  The whole plot of the story is written originally by myself.  If there's any similarity to other fictions, it is totally a coincidence.

I could see Jonghyun, but very far away.  But, I am sure he doesn’t look ghostly pale or in any form of a death.  He looks fine.  Maybe he is alive, he is not dead as I saw him last time.  Oh wait, I remember seeing he closes his eyes and stops breathing, and his lips was sheet white and there’s no heartbeat.  Maybe that’s a dream.  Maybe if I open my eyes I could see him in front of me, breathing, and lips all pink and healthy.

                My vision is blurry, but I could make out a figure in front of my eyes.  Maybe it is him. Or maybe not.  A girl, a woman, with long hair and I could hear the sound of sniffing coming out from her.  She’s crying?  Is it Ji Eun again like last time?

                “Hey, you’re awake, my daughter,” I could hear Hyori, I am sure she’s Hyori.  As my vision gets clearer, I could see Hyori in front of me.  She looks weak and dread, and her hollow eyes are even more polluted with the dirty eye bags that looks very grey under those eyes.  Such things tell me of sadness, but I prefer not to think about it.

                I sit up and look at her, waiting for her to inform me with any news, but she tells nothing.  Only her eyes share the pain, which prefer not to be told, but my heart is curious to know.  Seeing not a sign of speaking from her, I open my mouth and ask.

                “Is Jonghyun okay?” ask I, hoping that he is alive.  Hyori looks slightly taken aback and tears well up in her eyes again.  She quickly wrings my fingers.

                “Sabrina, don’t you remember?  We lost him.  We lost Jonghyun,” she says.  I exhale, knowing very well that will be the answer.

                “I remember, mom.  I remember very well,” I say with tears staining my cheeks.

                She sits beside me on the bed and hugs me from my back.  She strokes my hair and pats my back.  I could hear she sniffs.

                “It’s okay.  We share it together.  We lost him together.  Don’t bear it alone,” she says.  I nod.

                “He’s not buried yet, right?” I ask.

                “No.  Hyun Joong suggested that we wait till you wake up,” says her.  I nod.

                “I shall get ready for the funeral then,” I stand up and wipe my tears.  Then only I notice that Hyori is already in her black dress.  As though she understands what I am thinking, she stands up as well.

                “I already got your black dress ready.  I’ll take it for you.  Get into the bathroom and clean yourself first,” she says.

                I nod and I walk to the window to take my towels.  There, I notice Jonghyun’s towel hanged besides mine.  Now, after see this, I feel really alone.  How could I manage my life after this, without my husband?  The sun rises but the weather is with me.  Thick clouds hide the brightness of the sun, reflecting the mood here.  I pull my towel while tears fall again.

                “Sabrina, is it real, that you’re pregnant?” Hyori asks me.

                “I am.  And it’s Jonghyun’s child,” I say.  Hyori nods.

                “Clean yourself.  I’ll wait for you here,” she says and turns away, wiping her tears.  Perhaps she wants to hide it from me, but I think I know better how a mother feels about losing a son.  It might be worse than a woman losing her husband.

                I hide my pain as well.  Things might be better if I try to be stronger.  People might feel better if less show the pain.

                It takes me quite long to get ready.  I look into the mirror and I feel lonelier.  How could I live alone in this room?  It seems impossible.  Then, I notice something is missing.  The necklace.  Where is it?  I run to the door and open it to see Hyori is waiting outside the room.

                “Mom, where is the necklace?  Where is the necklace that Jonghyun gave me before he…” I can’t say that word.  It is too painful for me to take it.

                “That necklace?  Key keeps it for you,” she says.  Then only I remember him.  How does Key take all this?

                “Where is he?  Is he okay?  How does he take all this?” I ask, concern and curious at the same time.  I see tears coming out from her eyes again.

                “I don’t know, Sabrina.  I really don’t know,” she suddenly hugs me and cries.  It directly gives me an answer to that question.  Key doesn’t take it well.

                “Where is he, Hyori-ah?” I ask him.

“He is in his room.  You seem stronger than him, Sabrina.  You seem stronger than I thought,” Hyori cries at my shoulder.  I don’t take it very well too, but I try to suck it up and hide the pain because it might be better if less people show the pain.

                “I’ll see him, mom.  Give me time.  I’ll call you when I am done with Key,” I say.  Hyori nods and sends me to Key’s room.

                “Please, Sabrina.  I hope that he will be there for Jonghyun’s funeral,” Hyori says.  I nod.

                I knock on the door.  Of course, no answer from Key.  I sigh.

                “Key-ah…it’s me, Sabrina.  Can you please let me in?” I say. I knock again.

                I wait for quite a few minutes in front the door.  He still doesn’t answer me.  Maybe he is sleeping, too tired to stay awake, to face the reality that eats him inside.  Or maybe he really doesn’t want to be disturbed.  I almost walk away when I hear the door opens behind me.

                “Sabrina…” the voice sounds feeble and dying.  I turn around.

                The image that I see is very shocking.  Key is pale as a vampire, but he seems more like a zombie now.  He seems dead.  Looking at the hollow eyes hurts me a lot, but I have to remain strong because if I cry now, it will make Key feels even worse.  I am here to make things better. Am I not?

                “Key…” I say and walk to him, “What happen to you?” I ask him.  The moment I hold his hand, his legs lose strength and he falls on me.  I quickly balance myself to avoid both of us fall down.  Key really needs someone to depend on right now.  He is lifeless and really, I take it better than he.  He cries at my shoulder and I walk him to the couch inside his room.

                “Key…please.  Don’t be like this, please,” I beg him.  Seeing him like that makes me feel that I am losing another family member.  Losing Jonghyun is enough for me.  I don’t want to lose both at the same time.

                “J-Jonghyun hyung…he is not gone, is he?” Key asks.  I look deeply into his eyes.

                “We lost him, Key.  We lost him,” I say, stating the painful fact.   He shakes his head and cries even more.  Then, suddenly, he laughs.

                “This joke is not funny, you know?” Key asks.  Now I know that Key is in a worse state than me.  He’s in denial.

                “This is not a joke, Key.  It’s true.  We lost him, in the war,” I say.  He looks at me sharply, as if he wants to eat me.

                “Who tell you that?  Tell me, who say that?  Hyori?  Hyun Joong?  Ji Eun?  They are idiot!  Of, course Jonghyun is not dead.  I can hear his heartbeats, although they are very faint!” Key says.  It surprises me even more to see how strong his denial is.

                “Key, you’re denying it.  He’s dead, Key.  Let’s face the fact.  He’s no longer with us,” I say gently.

                “You are with them too?  You are an idiot as well!  Idiot!” he says and he cries again.  I hold his arms firmly.

                “Key-ah, don’t bear the pain alone, Key.  All of us are willing to share the pain together.  Don’t deny it, Key.  Let us face this together.  You’re not alone in this,” I say while I hug him.

                “I could still hear his heartbeats, Sabrina,” he says with his tears strolling right onto my dress.

                “All of us could imagine that his heart is still beating, Key.  Me too.  I would say that I could hear his heart beating too.  But, no Key.  That’s not true.  He is gone,” I say.  Key cries again.  I wait long enough for him to speak again.

                “It’s hard to admit his death, Sabrina.  Because if I do, the pain is more than any of you, because I was the one who killed him.  It was me.  It was all my fault,” Key says.

                “No, Key!  How could you do that to yourself?” I say and tears start to roll down.

                “It was me who shot the arrow.  It was my arrow that pierced him and killed him.  I killed him, Sabrina!  I killed him!” he says.  I cry with him when I hear that.

                “Don’t do this to yourself Key, please.  You just helped him to do what is right.  That’s it,” I say.

                “Are you saying that taking his life away is the right thing that I did?  I killed my own brother, Sabrina.  I killed my own brother!  How is that right?”

                “Please, Key!  Don’t do this to yourself.  Please,” I hug him.  He cries again and it seems like it won’t stop.

                “Why did this happen to us, Sabrina?  Why?  Why he left us so early?” asks Key.  I have no answer for that.

                “Key-ah…Jonghyun wouldn’t want to see you like this,” I say.  I hope that can bring him to his sense.

                “Jonghyun…he shouldn’t sacrifice himself for Siwon.  He should let me do it,” says Key.

                “What are you saying, Key?!” I raise my voice.

                “I am saying the thing that is supposed to happen,” answers him.

                “Enough, Key.  Please!  If you don’t want to be strong for him, at least, please, be strong for me, Key.  Please…” I cry.  He looks at me, “I can’t afford to lose both of you.  He’s gone, and you!  You’re supposed to stop thinking about dying as well!  How can all of us take it if we lose both of you?!  Please, Key.  Be strong.  Everybody is waiting for you downstairs.  Pay your last respect, please,” I beg him.

                He looks at me with eyes very hollow that I could see the numbing pain inside.  Key loses his strength to live.  In his eyes, he is dead as well.

                “Fine.  I’m fine if you don’t want to go.  I need to get going,” I say while standing up from the bed.

                I give him a last look before I leave the room.  After I’m quite sure he is not going with me, I make my way to the door.

                “Sabrina…” he calls me again.  I turn and look at him.  He has stood up.

                “This is belonged to you,” he says while giving me the necklace that Jonghyun gave me before he went away.

                “Come with me, Key.  Please.  I won’t take it if you are not following me,” I say.  Key sighs.

                “Fine,” he says, “I’ll go with you,” he says, “To prove to all of you that this is just a sick joke.  I’ll prove to all of you that he is still alive, that his heart is still beating.

                Thinking about it, it is better for him to come along, whatever the reason is.  I just let him come with whatever reason he has in mind.  Jonghyun is gone, and he won’t be back.  I walk away but I hear his footsteps at my back.  I take the stairs down only to see everybody is getting ready for the burial.

I could see Jonghyun lies in the coffin, with his eyes shut.  He looks very pale and that confirms his death.  Seeing him brings back all the memories when we were together.  I guess those are enough for me to keep till the end of my lifetime.  I’ll be responsible for his child.  I will, that’s my promise.

I see Siwon.  He doesn’t take it well either.  He is sobbing like crazy.  He seems to be worse than me, although a bit better than Key.

                “Siwon appa!” I shout while running towards him.  I hug him.

                “Sabrina!” he cries, “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that this has to happen.  It was my fault th-”

                “Stop it!  Will you?  I’ve got enough people blaming themselves for Jonghyun’s death.  Enough!” I say.

                “Unnie!” my sister hugs me.

                “Min Yee-ah,” I say with tears.

                “Unnie…Jonghyun oppa…I can’t take it, unnie,” she cries.  I suck all the pain and try to restrain my tears from falling.  I pat her head.

                “Let’s be strong, okay, Min Yee-ah?” I say.  She nods weakly.

                “I guess we are ready then,” Hyun Joong takes control of everything.  I look at him.  It is painful for him too.  His eyes cannot lie.  But, he hides it.  Seeing his effort to stay strong, I feel numb.  I nod.

                “Yah!  Where are you guys taking Jonghyun hyung?!” Key shouts from behind.  All of us look at him.

                “Key…we are ready for the burial,” says Hyori.

                “No!  You’re not bringing him anywhere!  He’s still alive!  Why do you guys want to bury him?!  Why?!” says Key.  Hyori looks shock.  Everyone seems shock to see how Key is denying the death.

                “Key, please-”

                “He’s alive, you idiot!  I can hear his heartbeats!” shouts Key.  Hyun Joong sighs.

                “No, Key.  You’re imagining things,” says Hyun Joong while closing the coffin, “Let’s get ready guys,” says him.

                “No, idiot!  He’s alive.  You guys are stupid!” Key says while trying to open back the coffin.  Onew quickly holds him back.  Taemin, Siwon, Minho and Seunghyun help to take the coffin to the burial site which is just at the back of the house.  Onew brings Key outside, but still holds him tight.  Key seems insane.

                “Yah!  You guys are stupid.  Jonghyun hyung is alive!  I hear his heartbeats.  They are faint, but I hear them well!” says Key when they lower the coffin into the grave hole.

                “No, Key.  You are hearing things.  You just can’t accept it, Key!  Face it!  He’s dead!” says Onew.

                Hyun Joong and Lee Minho only manage to take the spade when Key punches Onew in his face.  Onew falls on his back.  Key speeds towards both Lee Minho and Hyun Joong and he pushes them hard, making them to fall hard on their backs as well.  Then, he jumps into the hole.

                “Key-ah!” shouts Ji Woo.

                “He’s alive!” screams Key.

                Everybody is shocked when Key opens the coffin but what surprises us more is that when the coffin is opened, it reveals Jonghyun, with his eyes open wide.

__________

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